If you are an avid follower of all things publishing and internet related you probably encountered the kerfuffle over Paypal pulling support for an e-book seller until they removed some of the books on offer.

I don’t plan to argue about censorship. I’m an accountant by day, and if a client wants to push the envelope beyond where I am comfortable as far as interpretation of tax legislation goes,then I am free to ask them to take their business elsewhere. It’s not about censorship, it’s about being comfortable and secure in the knowledge I can defend my actions in court and come home to my family every night instead of returning to a cell. Every company has rules and terms of trade, you step outside of those then they are free to terminate their contract with you.

I don’t even want to get into a discussion about whether the topics in question, rape, incest and bestiality are taboo. I think for most people they probably are.

I am not even interested in a discussion about free speech. It’s not enshrined in our constitution like it is in the US but whilst I agree you are free to write whatever you want that is not to say someone should be compelled to publish it.

What I do want to talk about is where do we all draw the line in our own lives? What don’t you want to read about in a book?

As I write erotic romance you might think almost anything goes for me…well you’d be wrong. My ickometer is set fairly low. Same sex romance doesn’t do it for me. Butt plugs make me want to squirm, although I will read Cherise Sinclair because I love her books, I just edit out the butt plugs in my head.  The biggest ick for me though is bodily fluids.  My sex scenes have the necessary lubrication. My hero can always deposit the necessary fluid to procreate but no one is dripping, slurping or oozing anything, not when I’m in control.

I don’t think I will ever be able to deal with the whole messy wet and squelchy side of a sex scene but that is not to say boundaries won’t change.  In the sequel to Male Order, Male Review due out in May, Sam and Meg get into a little bondage and if I ever write the follow up, Eire Male, I just know Michael will want in on the act and persuade my lovely couple to try a menage. Sam and Michael would need to keep their hands of each other and the whole thing would need to be written in the best non-oozing taste, but I think I could pull it off.

How do you connect to the internet? You must do so to read this, and as such, we are a minority among the citizens of the world. Do you remember before you used the internet? Or did you grow up with it and, like electricity, take it for granted?

The web has changed the face of everything, including seduction and romance. Before the internet, we met potential mates in the typical watering holes of the world – bars, cafes, events, and other such things. Before that, we were introduced – and in some cultures, still are – by trusted members of our family or circle of close friends. Some online dating sites claim a high rate of success in matching compatible mates. There are even concierge services that will discreetly match clients with each other. While services like that have been around for generations, use of the internet allows enhanced privacy and speed of communication.

Here, then, are 5 tips for how to prepare for the inevitable technology SNAFU. I hope you don’t find yourself in that situation but, if you are, you’ll have what you need to be ready.

1. Have a card with important telephone numbers on it in case your mobile phone dies or you misplace your charger.

A friend of mine recently couldn’t make a scheduled telephone call because her phone didn’t reload its minutes; when she called to fix it, they couldn’t help her because the phone had lost its charge looking for a signal. The phone numbers she needed were in the phone, which she couldn’t access because of the dead battery.

2. Have things to do that aren’t internet-related. Bring a craft or games with you – even if it’s just a pack of cards (and a small instruction book if you can’t remember how to play any of your favorite games).

3. Bring music in your car or have CD’s loaded in your computer.

At work, for example, we have a small bandwidth and I can’t run Pandora when others need to access the network. Most of my music consumption these days is through Pandora so I had total silence when I couldn’t access my stations.

4. Carry a map.

Honestly, I can’t tell you how many people I know who get lost WITH their GPS. GPS units are terrifically handy. We’ve used ours, for example, to tell where we are as the train passes through tiny communities. But if you need to get somewhere and either your method of transportation breaks down or there’s some kind of problem (severe weather, road closure, terrorism) then it pays to know the context of your area.

5. Stash your cash.

I’ve learned this the hard way. I don’t particularly like to carry cash because I have a bad habit of spending it. But if you get stuck somewhere and need to get a cab, then you want to have cash since not all of them take visa (though that is changing, slowly).

What do you do to pass the time that isn’t internet-related? We’re on a train trip, and I wanted to find a printed guide to the route – a service available just a year ago. None of the customer service people I spoke to knew what I referred to. It’s probably available on their website, but of course I’m on a limited connection since we’re using a cell modem. In days gone by, I either would do without or come prepared.

Just like the Boy Scouts know, it always pays to be prepared for anything. The internet isn’t ubiquitous and it’s not protected from occasional failure. While it’s handy to have available, it’s not a panacea. To stay safe and happy during internet seizures, all it takes is a few steps to keep your cool.

And there’s nothing sexier than calm composure during a crisis. Who knows. You might find your next mate by offering them a stick of gum when everyone around you is losing their heads.

Happy seduction!

Brothel, whorehouse, house of ill repute, pleasure palace, etc…whatever you wanna call it, they have been around a long time. Dens of vice and sin they often offer far more than just sex. A well appointed brothel could cater to all a man’s appetites. Food, drink, gambling, or sex were all on the menu for a successful business.

After all, if you came there for one reason you might stay for another. So if you went there intending to gamble a bit, then you might find yourself soused and in want of a woman.

More importantly, they catered to all kinds of sex. From the very “vanilla” bump and grind to the far more kinky requests of wealthy clients. The ladies of the house filled an important role in society’s fabric by providing a semi-private place for men (and women) to indulge their baser desires.

While brothels do still exist, though very few in America, the BDSM club might be the more modern equivalent. Although many of these clubs are private organizations or allow only limited public play, they still offer a glimpse into what going to a brothel must have been like in their heydays.

I have to say, if I had no man in my life, I’d have to consider visiting a brothel or maybe a BDSM club to explore.  I’d have to do it at least once just out of curiosity. I’m a dedicated writer who is willing to go the extra mile for accurate research. LOL! How about you? Would you go to a brothel if you were back in time? What about going to a BDSM club or dungeon nowadays?

I started to list all of the erogenous zones I could think of on a piece of scrap paper so I could figure out some super naughty way to incorporate them into the scene. I hit all the big ones. Neck, lips, genitals, ears and feet. Then I started to wonder what I was missing.

Well—let me tell you! The internet is full of some really interesting (and rather odd) articles on erogenous zones. No, really. Be careful if you decide to get on your Google-Fu. Definitely some NSFW stuff out there.
But there were also some rather nifty bits out there too. I’d never think to kiss my hubby’s eyelids or stroke the backs of his knees but apparently they’re rather sensitive and erogenous-y for men.  The forehead and scalp are full of nerve-endings that can get the juices pumping. And, of course, there’s always the mind. Stimulate that organ with a sexy movie or, you know, a dirty book. (See sidebar for options!)

So have at! Go exploring. I can’t think of a better reason to toss down a sheet, grab some massage oil and give your lover (or lovers!) a full body massage.

Share your worst date story and you could win a copy of Sidney’s book, Flirting with Rescue, Now available from Ellora’s Cave publishing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ninja Dating – Sidney Bristol

Have you ever been on a Ninja Date?

Sadly, this isn’t about going on a date with a dark, mysterious man swathed in black carrying throwing stars. I can’t be the only person who has found themselves the victim of a Ninja Date, but I might have some of the best stories about them.

Hi, I’m Sidney, and I think it’s acceptable to share horrible date stories to get a laugh. Today I want to tell you about one of the worst dates evah, which also has the bad ju-ju to also have been one of my few Valentine Dates.

So first, what is a Ninja Date, you ask?

A Ninja Date is when a friend or acquaintance of the opposite sex suggests that you go grab something to eat or see that movie you both want to see… never bothering to tell you it’s a date. You show up, probably in your comfy jeans, a sweat shirt because it’s kind of chilly outside, and you find yourself in dating hell.

I love a good friends-to-lovers story, but my life is far from a romance trope.

So, let’s take a walk down memory lane. I was in college, it was my next to last semester and I was working full time, going to school and organizing a humanitarian trip to Thailand. I didn’t have a brain cell to worry about Valentine’s Day. A friend of mine, let’s call him Mike, was a little blue, so when he asked if I would grab dinner with him so we could miss the gaudy decorations and mooning couples in the cafeteria, I jumped at the offer. I was anticipating a drive-through and some fast food.

What I got was much different.

Dressed in jeans, my favorite band t-shirt and with my hair a mess, I show up for our dinner run. Mike is waiting in the lobby of the dorm.

He’d showered.

He was wearing clean clothes.

He had on a freaking button down shirt.

Mike was kind of a grungy guy. He usually sported scruff, some ridiculous t-shirt he’d scrounged from a Goodwill bin and jeans that sported lots of stains. Good guy. Not a great dresser. So the alteration to his wardrobe was a Big Red Flag.

As we walked out to his truck, the one he’d told me about lovingly, about how awesome it was, and such a classic, I was getting nervous. I had a pretty good idea that I’d been Ninja Napped. Now, as we’re walking through the parking lot we pass up all the nice trucks. This is Texas, there are a lot of them. But no. We progress to the last row of vehicles, and there, sitting in a corner spot is a beat up, old POS rust bucket.

I’m now wondering how quick I can get myself out of this situation. Mike stands at the rear bumper and watches me try to open the door. It’s unlocked. I can see it’s unlocked, and yet it won’t open. I kid you not, I put my foot on the side panel and hauled back just to get the darn thing open. Mike laughs. Apparently he wanted to wait and see if I needed help.

By the point we’re starting to pull out of the parking lot, I know that this is a Ninja Date. I’m praying that it’s over quick, because as nice as Mike is, I would tear him up as a boyfriend. He starts chatting about something and asks me to put a piece of paper in his glove box. I think nothing of it, open the glove box and—oh shit—throw the piece of paper in and close it. Mike requests that I open the glove box and take out the lovely plastic wrapped rose he’s hidden there.

How sweet. I’m now wondering how much it would hurt to throw myself out of a moving vehicle. This is going nowhere good, and I can only see me hurting him if this continues, but by the time I’ve come to grips with the idea of road rash, we pull into a fast food Chinese place.

Then follows the most awkward five hour dinner I’ve ever had. We literally shut the place down, we stayed that long. It was sad because Mike and I had the same majors and typically could while away an hour or more chatting about anything. But nerves must have tied him into knots because we discussed and discussed the same three topics. For five hours.

During this time, several friends of mine or ours came in and tried to join us, but were told by Mike that we were having a private dinner.

The evening had an anticlimactic end. Several friends were entering the dorm at the same time as us and I used them as cover to escape with only a side hug. I spent the following month avoiding Mike because direct, “I’m not interested,” comments didn’t do any good.

So while nothing overly bad happened on this date, it still holds the record of being my worst Valentine’s Day outing ever. What holds the record of worst evah for you? One commenter will win a copy of my latest Ellora’s Cave release, Flirting with Rescue, where the heroine once got a pink gun for Valentine’s Day, I kid you not.

—

Flirting With Rescue

Sparks—and clothes—fly when hot veterinarian Cody-Lynn Parker shows up at Scott Carillo’s animal shelter. Scott’s had a bad run with women, but he can’t keep his hands off Cody’s luscious curves.

Cody’s trying to be professional, but she can barely concentrate on work thanks to her craving for the tall, dark and sexy Cuban. She kisses caution goodbye and Scott hello when his shirt comes off.

Between naked star-gazing and naughty massages, their steamy fling turns into an affair of the heart. But when thieves target Cody, she finds herself flirting with danger, and Scott wants to rescue her whether she thinks she needs it or not.

—

Want to find out what other trouble Sidney gets herself into?
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But what if the fantasy was something common, something so benign that is hardly seemed like a fantasy at all? Sometimes the simple things are the hardest to ask for, and it’s embarrassing to ask for the one thing everyone seems to have.

I liked the idea of a place where any sexual fantasy was in reach, no matter how big or small. Like a modern day Fantasy Island, only a lot kinkier. To my surprise, when I started exploring the idea, the character that came to me didn’t want anything sexy at all. Alice understood how the world worked, though, and she’d indulge someone else’s fantasy if it meant getting a little taste of what she needed.

You see, Alice wanted a night to pretend, a night when she could feel loved. It was Valentine’s day, but she wasn’t looking for romance, for hearts and flowers. She just wanted a man’s arms around her and a night to feel special.

Her reasons… well, you’ll have to find those out yourself. Enjoy this short story. Pretend You Love Me is available free in a PDF download from my website or in multiple formats from All Romance Ebooks.

Happy Valentine’s Night.

* NOTE* Pretend is erotica, not romance. It is sexually explicit and intended for readers over 18 only.

Anyway, what do you think of when you think of attraction? So often you can’t help who you are attracted to and they’re not always available to you. So, thoughts get kept to yourself. They might be in another relationship or married. But, there’s still nothing wrong with that attraction. After all, we can be committed to someone or be a friend to someone and still find an attraction. We’re human and it’s just how our brains and bodies seem to work (no, of course, not to 100% of everyone…just in general…there’s always an exception to every rule).

I kind of think of attraction as reading a romance novel. While you’re reading, most of us tend to paint a picture in our mind. We see the characters and the location the author has presented to us in their details. So we follow along in our minds while we read as though we’re watching our own personal movie. Attraction can be looked at almost the same way. There’s no “put to death” rule on being attracted to someone that isn’t yours or someone you can never have.

I call this personal collection a very naughty term that I guess I should leave off here. However, have your Attraction Collection.” Keep it in your mind. There’s nothing wrong with digging into it while you’re in a nice warm bath or when you can’t sleep. create your own personal movie from a novel written by you from your Attraction Collection.

No, it’s not cheating on your significant other if you have one. Most times, this provides even more build up for your partner. It’s a wonderful way to build up anticipation.

So, go ahead. What are you waiting for? Grab your Attraction Collection and make your own intimate encounters even better.

In our tradition, we celebrate Bredesmas, or Candlemas as it became when the Christians conquered the Celts, is the time when the year’s supply of candles are made.  We celebrate it the first weekend in February.  Saturday is for poured candles and Sunday is for dipped candles.  We only dip pure beeswax candles so we have pots specifically for that, and we pour both parafin and beeswax.

We found a terrific new supplier for our wax, Dadant & Sons.  Primarily a beekeeping supply company, they started carrying beeswax because folks kept requesting it.  Friendly and helpful when I called to place my order, they shipped it to me super-fast and I got it two days before I asked for it – which really saved my bacon since, somehow, February snuck up on me this year and I ordered last minute.  The yellow beeswax came in neat one-pound bricks that are easy to use.  They also carry white beeswax, though I didn’t order any.

We use a locally-owned craft and hobby store for our other candlemaking supplies called Tom Thumb Hobby & Crafts.  A crafter’s delight, they carry everything from the common (beadmaking, paper crafts and polymer clay) to the esoteric (pysanky, candle molds and dipping pots, wooden doll houses) and are helpful and friendly.  If you’re near northern Illinois, they’re worth a visit.  I don’t know if they ship, but it’s worth checking; visit their website to see the huge variety of items they carry.

Since Bredesmas is the holiday of the Celtic Triple Goddess Brede, the traditional foods are berries and milk.  We celebrated with blackberries, blueberries, and of course raspberries; our ‘milk’ was in the form of handmade small-batch ice creams that cannot be found in stores (flavors like roasted garlic, Persian lime, and candied ginger).

How do you celebrate the coming Spring?  Did you stop and acknowledge Punxsutawny Phil, the official groundhog of Groundhog Day?  Or maybe you’re looking forward to Valentine’s Day in a couple weeks?  Whatever the reason, remember to stop and look up at the sun, and know that in the Northern Hemisphere, Spring is coming.  If you live in the Southern Hemisphere, reflect as the year draws to a close.  And maybe light a candle in honor of the ancient traditions and celebrate Bredesmas with some homemade ice cream or a bowl of berries.

Whatever you do, may it bring you joy!

Here at Silken Sheets our winner is Janesbooks2011!

Over at the Daily Dose of Decadence the winner is Barbara Elsborg!

I was a very practical girl…I carefully selected a friend who was going into the Navy. The point was to do it with someone I liked but had no strong emotional attachment to so that when I looked back at my first time I wouldn’t have regrets that I gave it to that guy, or I was still in love with the one, or whatever crazy emotional thing we women do to ourselves. I know it sounds kind of cold blooded now, but I suppose I was just trying to protect myself in a way. Honestly, I’m good with my choice. It wasn’t romantic, but I got all that later because let’s face it sex doesn’t get really good until you find the right partner.

In Love Revealed Heath comes to the realization that nobody else will do sexually but Kat. It’s kind of a shock for him and leads to an awkward moment, but he’s a smart man. Once he identifies the problem he sets about finding a solution. And in this case, a bit of a cold blooded decision, to seek pleasure at The Market in lieu of looking for love, leads to the right outcome anyway. I love that about this story, that try as they might the hero and heroine end up falling in love and finding someone that they can love and trust with their deepest, darkest secrets. That is a beautiful thing.

Now, I want to know about your first time. No details please! Just the gist of things. Was it someone you loved? Were you more practical about things? If you don’t want to tell me about your first time with sex, pick another first and share that instead! I love hearing about first experiences of any kind.

No good party should be without a gift, and since I only have one to give…one commenter will win a digital copy of Love Revealed in their choice of format.

Love Revealed (The Market Series) by Sorcha Mowbray
Lady Katherine Drummond plays by society’s rules, even after the Ton turns on her. Shunned by her peers, she keeps up appearances by day but allows her true self out in the privacy of The Market. There, in the arms of one man, she comes alive. So much so, she signs a contract to be his for six months. Despite never having seen his face and knowing him only as Sir, she fears losing her heart to the man who breaks through her defenses.

Lord Raymond Tarkenton, the Earl of Heathington, despises being one of the most sought after bachelors of the Ton. He could never ask a woman of his circle to submit to his sexual needs, and a mistress would never be an option. For now, one masked woman at The Market holds his undivided attention. When he realizes that his masked lover and Lady Katherine Drummond are one and the same, he must find a way to convince her that they are bound together by more than the straps at her wrists and the contract they signed. He must reveal himself and his love to her. But will she accept him for more than a sexual escape.

Excerpt

“Why is it you were compelled to make me wait when you were aware I was here and ready? This is not how we should start this arrangement.”

“I was delayed.” She met his gaze, hers teamed with desire, hope, defiance, and perhaps even a tinge of fear. Mostly promising reactions, the defiance would need to be addressed.

“You will of course be punished.” He paused. “When I am ready.”

“Yes, Sir.” Her eyes lit up with his pronouncement.

“Not when you are, and it is clear you are.” Yes, Kat was the exact woman he needed in his bed. She fit him, was a perfect foil for him, for his needs. No. He must be caught up in the moment.

He sat next to her on the bed and caressed the outer edge of one breast. “It was good of you to tell me the truth, Kat. You must always tell me the truth, just as I will always tell you the truth. Do you understand?”

“I will always be honest with you, Sir.” Surprise flitted across her features as the truth of her vow rang through her words and warmed him.

“Do you trust me, Kat?” Curiosity got the better of him.

She hesitated, her thoughts whirling like crazy behind her beautiful eyes. “No.” She finally responded and dropped her eyes. He stopped caressing her soft flesh.

“And yet you let me restrain you. Perhaps you trust me more than you think?” His pulse thrummed through his veins.

She glanced up at him. “Maybe a little.”

Want a copy? Get it at:

http://www.decadentpublishing.com/

I can also be found at:

http://sorchamowbray.com

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