We are not all perfectly curvy with an amazing ass, and all men aren’t like a Greek god with an eight inch cock that is as thick as your wrist. In real life we have bellies and hips, skinny legs, and no ass. Men are not really well muscled and their dicks are more like six inches that your fingers can easily wrap around. And I am not even going to start on SFF issues. LOL!
Would that we all could be multi-orgasmic and do it repeatedly in a night. Sadly, not so much. Especially not for real men. There is such a thing as refractory period, and real men need it. As they get older, they need more of it. Of course, we all know there are exceptions to every rule if you are one or your SO is, then bless you!
Okay, now don’t throw rotten tomatoes at me. But, not unlike porn, we sometimes write positions that aren’t comfortable or just sound better than they would be if actually performed. We do try to stick to executable maneuvers, but come on, some positions just aren’t realistic and can’t be maintained through completion. Just saying.
I love Cerise Sinclair’s disclaimer at the beginning of her BDSM books. She basically cautions that a real D/s relationship takes time to develop and nurture. She is clear that the time lines in her books are escalated for the purposes of the story. Could it happen that fast? Yes. But, is that the norm? Should it be the norm? No way! Trust is earned, and that takes time. Now, I’ll be the first to admit I moved in with Mr. Sorcha Mowbray after knowing him for only two months. I am smart enough to know I took a gamble that paid off. I had doubts and fears even when it seemed right. Trust takes time, and engaging in a BDSM/kinky relationship takes a whole truck load of trust.
Can real sex emulate romance sex? Yes! Every time you create a special moment with your honey or find yourself in the grip of lust, you’re doing just that. There are lots of ways to bring the spirit of romance sex to your real life sex.
Set The Mood
Have a romantic dinner together. Do it at home in lingerie or in public sans panties. Light candles and turn on some music. Recreate your first date.
Not a talker? Try it! Tell your partner everything (or just one thing) you want to do to them. Or maybe what you want them to do to you.
Maybe try blind folding each other or tying each other to the bed with a scarf (loose enough you can escape). Maybe get your partner to swat your butt while having sex. Maybe just have them (or yourself) be more demanding during sex. You don’t have to go crazy with leather, whips, and chains to bring a little romance sex into your life.
Go on, admit it. There is something about sex away from real life that lets you be just a little more free. So, go on vacation and be your own heroine with your very own hero. Trying something new there might be a little easier than at home.
So, got any other ideas for bringing romance sex into real life? Share them! I am always curious about ways to keep things lively.