So, I’m teaching a class on how to write hot sex and a conversation with a student hit a button or two for me. Not in a bad way, but sparked my desire to speak up. They mentioned some research done on 50 Shades and why it was popular and why it was okay for women to like the power dynamics and kinkiness of the book. Because women are okay with whatever fills her man’s needs.
That kind of bullshit really pisses me off. Now obviously I am talking about the moron (or morons) who wrote that crap, not the student. It makes me want shout to EVERYONE…
Here’s the thing. Society teaches women to be ashamed of our sexual desires, our needs. I’m done being ashamed. I’ve been done…probably since before I started writing erotic romance, but nevertheless I am in fact over it. Whether I have vanilla sex or kinky sex. Whether I lay under my partner in the missionary position or I get tied to the bed and whipped — or anything in between. I will not be made to feel ashamed for my sexual preferences.
And, I do not need to justify my reading habits. TO ANYONE. I like reading M/M/F menage. Get over it. The idea of two men getting it on lights my fire. The idea of a D/s relationship turns me on. And her doing it because he needs it is not enough for me. I like it because the sub acknowledges what their wants and needs are and they go get it. It’s insulting to have to rationalize why I like reading about hot kinky sex.
Let me be clear. I know the difference between fantasy and real life. There are fantasies that turn me on and light my fire that I may not like so much in real life. Then again…maybe I would. But whether I choose to explore that or not is up to me. I take ownership of my sex life and my reading choices. I’m a woman. I like sex. Live with it.