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I’m supposed to be talking about naughty things, sexy things. So I’m gonna. The photo to nintendo-minithe right features the hottest thing I can imagine right now. It features over 30 games, most cater to my youth and lost childhood. From Mario to Zelda and even the original Final Fantasy. This machine is a gamers classic wet dream. A chance to delve deep into the video games of yesteryear when we were looking for something more than an Atari, and when we wanted arcade style games in our own home. Move over Pacman, adios Burgertime (I love Burgertime). Yep, step aside for the new Nintendo Classic Mini, which my dear Silken Sheets Gamers is currently sold out everywhere. Unless you want to pay utterly disgusting, unarousing prices for the machine on Ebay.

sssLandraLet’s not even talk about, okay… maybe we will talk about how thoroughly disgusted I am with some of the sellers, who, in an attempt to prove they have the machine in their possession are posting photos of the product with the receipt. They seem to forget that I can see how much they paid for it, that the popular console I want only costs $60. So why, in the sweet sexy hell are they selling them for over $300 going upwards of $1000? Capitalism, you say? Lack of personal orgasms, you say? Scrooge syndrome? Trump brain wave takeover? I don’t care because it’s supposed to be the time of giving, the holiday of being nice, and all these jerks (dubbed: scalpers) are after more dough. Makes a woman think about scalping for real, but I’ll settle for a round of Mario on my good ‘ol skool Nintendo. I’ll have to run through some anger therapy on Bowser, and those evil mushrooms.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving readers. My plan in the next 24 is to stuff my face and I’ll keep hunting for this mystical unicorn system. If anyone knows where I can snag one, be sure to comment here. Seductress Landra, out.